Despite not achieving my goals, I can't say I haven't accomplished things throughout the years. One thing I accomplished was living in Denver for a year and surprise, surprise! Still living here! I can't say I've made it my home though. It's hard to make a place your home that doesn't encompass the things that are important to you (cough cough Black culture) but I have found things I think I will struggle without if/when I leave such as cannabis, mountains, and sunny days.
Something else I've accomplished is getting my own place sans roommate. I pray I never need another one because the moment I got the keys to my own spot, my maturity levels instantly increased. Having your own place is independence overload. You have to take out your own trash, or in my case place the trash outside of your door for the valet. You decorate it with your own personal style. You set the tone because you are the tone.
Now that I'm in my 30's (shit every girl in her 30's starts a sentence off with), I realize life isn't slowing down or even rewinding. It's now or never. It adds a lot of pressure to the daily stress of life. Personally for myself, I wonder a lot about my relationships. Is the next guy I date potentially the one that I end up with, and if not will that ever happen. How much time do I really have to get pregnant? Is that even an option? Should I freeze my eggs? Is my career ever going to take off? Don't get me wrong. I completely understand I still have time, but I also know how time works and my concerns are valid. However, while I have these thoughts I want to make sure I applaud the things I am doing because some of these things I could have never imagined in my 20's. I'm glad that hot mess part of my life is done.
So here's to balancing fears and successes (small or big) on the day to day to stay sane.
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